Coping with criticism
November 22nd, 2008
Criticism can be hard to take at times. It can be especially hard to receive when we have put our heart and soul into something and someone comes and criticises our work. Or worse still - they criticise us personally.
However, when we receive criticism there are some things we an do to receive it a bit better so it doesn’t cut to the bone as it does some times. Here are a few questions that can help you filter some of the criticism that comes your way.
1. Source - Who is giving the criticism? Are they someone close to you whom you trust? Are they someone who is directly invloved in what you are doing?
2. Qualifications - What qualifications do they have? Does the person really know what they are talking about?
3. Information - Do they understand the situation? Do they have all the facts? Perhaps the person might need you to explain it to them personally.
4. Character - Are they are a person of integrity? Do you know their walk with God? Is it someone you respect? Have they earned the right to speak into your situation and give you advice?
5. Motivation - What is the motivation behind their criticism? Are they be vindictive or are they genuinely trying to help?
6. Timing - If we are feeling particularly low or not well at the time, criticism can get under our guard more than usual. If you are not up to it at the moment we can always ask to meet someone in a few days.
7. Prayer - Has the person prayed about what they are criticising you about? Have they prayerfully sat on it for a while? Have they prayerfully considered the impact it might have on you?
The reality is that we will all be criticised at times. Sometimes it is warranted and at other times it is not. Sometimes is can actually be good for us as we all have blind spots and we need people to pass on things we may be doing wrong.
The key is to remember that all criticism needs to be filtered and weighted higher or lower depending on the person, their knowledge of the situation, their integrity and their motivation for speaking to you. If you know someone well and they have earned the right to speak into your situation, then it is weighted higher.
Just remember three words - filter, filter, filter!